Just to be clear, chaos, crisis, and stress are often self-imposed and non-existent. In this piece I am going to share my best practices.
Lets start with this ugly truth in life, and the sooner we accept it, the closer we get to success and happiness: We have no control over many of the things that happen in life. In today’s “noisy” world, it’s easy to get caught up in worrying about things beyond our control. We overthink, stress, and forget to simply breathe and project positive outcomes. For instance, why don’t we just step back and focus on finding joy every day?
While we all overthink, some of us become chronic overthinkers, particularly in times of distress. Those that do this, tend to re-live conversations and experiences they had recently, second-guessing every decision they made, and only seeing the worst-case scenario all the time, all day, every day. This is part of our tendency to over-focus on the potential negative outcomes. And this is where our brain is very talented at as explained in the great book “The Power of Bad”. Our minds can be your best friend or worst enemy, depending upon how we relate to it. Just be aware that “our brain is very skilled at suppressing good news when it does not matter that much, but the brain is not very good at suppressing irrelevant bad news” (The Power of Bad).
Sure, life is unpredictable, and we can’t control everything. But instead of letting this overwhelm us, why not embrace it? Let’s take a deep breath, relax, and trust that things will work out. Relaxing doesn’t mean being reckless and optimists beyond evidence or careless. It means approaching life with a sense of calmness and positive perspective. When we’re relaxed, we’re better equipped to handle challenges and find solutions. Plus, I believe we are stronger than we think, and if we adopt a “positive outcome midframe” we are going to absorb the “bad” effectively and bounce back quickly.
Also, just to be clear, usually, the worst-case scenario isn’t as tragic as we might have expected. And there is a good chance we are stronger than we think when the bad times come. But sometimes, people are so busy thinking, “I can’t allow myself to fail,” they don’t take the time to ask themselves, “What would I do if I have to face this challenge?” Acknowledging that we can handle the worst-case scenario can help us put our energy into more productive exercises and continue investing in ourselves.So, next time you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, remember to take a deep breath. Focus on finding joy in the little things. You might be surprised at how much more you can accomplish when you’re relaxed and at peace.
Here are the 4 key actions to stay strong and build yourself back better:
- Avoid ruminating and complaining and challenge your energy to focus on problem-solving.
- Develop an “I can handle mind-frame” and a “best case scenario attitude” because you are stronger than you think.
- Define your fears, as when you define them, you can defeat them.
- Share your vulnerability with good people, as they will reciprocate and help you. Those who open up and take responsibility for their weaknesses are the leaders.